THINGS NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT MY FRIENDS (AND MAYBE NEVER SHOULD, BUT OH WELL)

1. LoMo has a parasite in her brain that she feeds by drinking gravy from the boat when no one's looking
2. JoBo has a dog fetish -- not that dogs get his rocks off, but he really does have a dog named fetish which nobody is allowed to see because jb likes it that way
3. JaMa didn't really shave his legs for Hallowe'en, they're like that from September - April... don't ask me why or how I know
4.ErHi is actually OLDER than he's telling us --ALOT older, and he won't ever tell the truth because the rest of us with receeding hairlines hate him enough already as is
5. MiBe is a Russian spy, and that's all I'm saying about that... comrades
6. JoGa, as much as she does a superb job hiding it behind that sheen of dreaminess, actually is a real, sure-as-shootin WITCH, capable of immense feats and conjurer of many a powerful spell
7. MaMa did not spend her childhood in Europe, as she is want to tell us, but in South America where she learned the ancient arts of Crocodile Wrestling and Shamsnistic VooDoo -- both of which she still practices, only now by a different name
8. KaWa is the Queen of the Universe (though anyone who really knows her is already aware of this, even if it's only subconsciously)
9. FaMa once scaled a mountain, bareback tamed a Camel, conquered a concubine and discovered a new line of Homo Sapien -- on the same day, all before tea-time
10. MaBr has no secrets